


What You Didn't Say

by Raaj



Category: Bravely Default (Video Game) & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:38:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raaj/pseuds/Raaj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes silence says just as much as words, but at other times, it is completely incomprehensible.  Previously posted on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Didn't Say

For all the things you said, there were things you didn’t say at all.

You didn’t say you were grieving, most of the time.  That was understandable.  I didn’t wish to speak much of my grief, either.  We were aware of each other’s silences, and you would be patient when my own patience was short, warmer when I was growing colder.  I wasn’t so good at comforting people myself, but I did notice when you were barely picking at small servings you’d taken and ask if you were interested in trying a new dish, which you always were, if I was the one suggesting it.  …I believe that’s how you discovered most of the vegetarian dishes you’d stomach, and a few you didn’t care for at all.  Even the ones you did not like were at least more food in your stomach.  It surprised me when I saw you eat for real, your sadness no longer souring the food’s taste; I hadn’t thought anyone besides Edea could eat that much.

You didn’t say you were having nightmares, and once it came out, I wondered why you had felt the need to lie about why you were tired every time it came up.  …Might it have been my fault?  I know I wasn’t always gentle with others’ feelings.  I wish you’d known I wouldn’t have judged you.  I had nightmares too.  I was able to sleep, but if there were too many coverings on top of me or the bed was too crowded, I started to feel their bodies weighing on me, shielding me, even as the life left them.

…I suppose I should have said something, too.  But we all had nightmares.  Mine at least let me sleep, so long as the bed was clear.

You didn’t say “I love you”, and that was acceptable, because you made your love known in other ways: with your hand brushing mine when I was upset, with your back before me when I needed protection, with your eyes on me when I was ready to lead.  …It was also acceptable that you did not say ‘I love you’, because I did not know back then what I would have said in return.  A declaration of love is nearly always a question, as well—or would it be a request?  To be loved in return.  There are promises tied up in loving someone, and…I did not know if I could make you those promises, whether I wished to or not.

But I did wish.  I hope… I managed to show you love in some way, too.

You did not say you were ill.  And that, no matter what your reasons were, is unacceptable.

Unacceptable!  Did you not think of how long it might take us to find you after you collapsed?  What if something had happened to you?  Did you not think of how Egil would feel when he realized something had been wrong with you, and he hadn’t noticed?  He was nearly in tears!

…Did you not think we would have done everything we could to help you?  I don’t understand.

Out of all the things you didn’t say, that is the least understandable.  The most unforgivable.

But I could forgive you still, if you would only wake up to say sorry. 


End file.
